


Want the Falling Star not the Darkening Shadow

by victoriousscarf



Series: Stars and Cinders [10]
Category: DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:27:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7586932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So either you have decided to hunt me down at last because you cannot stand the guilt or you have realized what the order can never give you.”</p><p>“I'm here to join you,” Dick said, in the middle of space, cold and far from all he cared for and who cared for him, his robes wound tightly around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Tags etc to be updated. 
> 
> This is another one I've been more or less blatantly saying was coming without committing to write it for a long time but considering like all the other stories I currently want to write involve spoilers for what happens here it's sorta gotta be done. 
> 
> Hold on kiddos. 
> 
> Also happy six month anniversary on writing this story to me?

Slade agreeing to wipe out entire cities for money had been the start of a pattern Dick spent months pretending not to see.

But he stepped foot on another world, the ministers walking up to him with heavy foot steps and knew he couldn't ignore it anymore.

“Ministers,” he greeted, inclining his head and they bowed, hands crossed over their chests.

“Thank you for coming, Knight Grayson,” the minister in front said, their flat grey eyes meeting his.

“I heard there was not much I can do,” Dick said, falling into step with them as they started walking away from the space port and further into the city. “But whatever aid I can bring, or help to the clean up—”

“That would be appreciated,” the first minister said.

Dick opened his mouth to say something else when they came around the corner and he stilled, staring at the smoking crater where buildings once stood. “And you say no one has stepped forward to take credit yet?” he managed.

“No,” the first minister said, their shoulders drooping in their heavy robes of state.

Dick might have been one of the only people in the galaxy to know at that moment it had been Slade Wilson. He stepped down into the crater anyway, using the Force to find the faint life signs buried in the rubble, and to move said rubble so emergency workers could rush into the spaces he made and drag people out.

He spent a week there until he could comb the entire field of debris and feel no life signature tickling at his mind. Then he sat down in the middle of it and wept.

-0-

Donna let him rest his head in her lap and promised she believed in him.

-0-

Slade didn't leave much to chance, and Dick had realized a long time ago there was a trail of bread crumbs for him to follow whenever he felt like it to the Sith. It wasn't just the bond stretched between them and all of space, it was clues, scattered from port world to port world, bounty hunters with sly smirks and lock boxes with another clue.

They wove him deeper and deeper into the outer rim until finally he found himself on a floating space station, in a slowly decaying orbit around a gas giant. It had maybe another twenty years before it would be gone.

Dick touched the edges of one of the corridors, brushing his fingers along the rusting metal and feeling a tiny trill of harsh emotions, hundreds of years old. He wondered if he could find a way to reverse the decaying orbit, wondering at the history of such an ancient place.

But maybe some things were better left to fall apart and fade away.

Lights burst into brightness as he walked, leading him deeper into the station and ending at a communications relay that was obviously more recent than anything else there.

Sitting in front of the relay, Dick pulled his outer robe tightly against himself and stared at it. He had been out of communication with the council for two weeks already. They must have suspected something was wrong. Considering his track record of being kidnapped, Bruce would be half way to frantic already.

But he could still turn around and go home and pretend the bond wasn't slowly driving him insane as on the other end Slade seemed to spiral into homicidal madness.

Instead, he turned on the relay and waited.

Only a handful of minutes passed before Slade appeared on the other side of the screen. “Dick,” he said, and there were different lines on his face, something wrong with the light coming off his one eye.

Dick realized it was glowing faintly and felt his stomach bottom out.

“Slade,” he greeted instead.

“So either you have decided to hunt me down at last because you cannot stand the guilt or you have realized what the order can never give you.”

“I'm here to join you,” Dick said, in the middle of space, cold and far from all he cared for and who cared for him, his robes wound tightly around him.

Slade only smiled before the connection cut and Dick bowed his head to wait.

He had almost a day to back out and run away but he waited until Slade's ship docked next to his. He had been watching the station slowly sink downward without ever falling all the way out of its orbit.

“You seem to like decaying and abandoned wrecks,” Dick said, not turning his head because he knew it was Slade, even without the bond thrilling at the back of his mind, the two ends of it coming together.

“There is a certain poetry to them,” Slade said behind him. “To their rust and their ruin and the cultures that left them.”

Dick slowly turned around and Slade held his hand out. “Come,” he said and Dick hesitated before taking that offered hand, letting Slade lead him back out.

He'd left a trail of his own, and hoped no one would come looking for it.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

For a long while Dick sat in silence, Slade beside him and the stars of hyperspace before them.

It didn't matter this had been Dick's plan for months, he felt shocked and cold. Twining his fingers together, he focused on breathing through his growing panic.

“So I have several theories,” Slade said, and time had slipped away from Dick in the silence and cold.

“Oh?” he asked, not turning.

Slade hummed, and Dick looked over at him when he was silent again. “First is that you simply finally snapped,” Slade said, now that he had Dick's eyes on him. “That you couldn't take the Jedi order anymore and truly plan on what you say.” He smirked, and Dick faced him impassively. “Or, that you have a plan. That you think this is the way to finally catch me, to pretend you have finally given in, while thinking you can get away at the end unchanged.”

“Any other theories?” Dick asked lightly.

“Not yet,” Slade said. “Those two are the most obvious, don't you think?”

“And after all our time together do you think I'm obvious?” Dick asked lightly and when Slade touched the back of his neck, he shuddered. But he let Slade drag him closer, and he could feel the rot seeping through the Force, in ways it never had from Slade before.

“I think you're stunningly obvious,” Slade said. “And yet somehow you always manage it with such grace.”

“I suppose I must take what I can,” Dick said and Slade kissed him, bruising and angry and Dick let him. They stayed like that for a while, Dick standing and Slade holding the back of his neck. When the ship came out of hyperspace, Dick stumbled out of the embrace, and looked out the viewport.

He couldn't tell what he expected, but the muddy looking world had not been it. “Where are—”

“Korriban,” Slade said, like it was the most natural thing in the world and Dick's stomach dropped out.

“That doesn't make sense,” he managed. “Even the Sith have more or less left—”

“Oh, the Sith never truly leave Korriban,” Slade said, already focused on the controls again as Dick stared at the planet in front of them with sick horror. “That would defeat its purpose, don't you think?”

“Its purpose?” Dick repeated. “What purpose could a planet possess?”

“You Jedi have trial chambers,” Slade said and Dick sat down hard. “To judge yourselves and see if you are worthy. You came looking for me, remember.”

“And you don't trust me,” Dick said, not even a question and Slade only smiled at him, a hunter's smile.

“Why would I?” he asked. “Even if you came after me out of some duty, out of some plan to take me down,” and he trailed his hands along Dick's shoulder as he rose. “Trust me that I will not make that easy for you.”

-0-

Korriban smacked Dick in the face with a harsh wind that tasted like dust. Raising his hand, he looked around the towering valley and tried to block some of the wind with his robe.

“The valley of the Sith Lords,” Slade said, sounding pleased beside him. “You know, many treasures have never been found from here. There are still many closed tombs.”

“And everything is guarded,” Dick said. “By creatures of the dark side.”

“Yes, there are many monsters here,” Slade said. “A Sith academy tried to set itself up here, and fell. The building has not totally decayed yet, and has many of it's own hidden treasures.”

“I thought the Sith had left here for a reason,” Dick said, covering his mouth with his robe as the wind picked up.

“We may not teach at academies anymore,” Slade said. “And not generally in such places as this. But Sith are strong. If students cannot survive there is no point,” and he walked away.

After a moment, still closer to the ship than any of the tombs, Dick almost ran away, up back onto the ship and off this world that felt like it was choking him just standing here, in the swirling dust and oppressive dark side presence.

Instead he followed Slade.

-0-

Slade entered a cave and after giving it a dubious look, Dick followed. “This does not look like one of the grand tombs of the Sith order,” he said.

“No,” Slade agreed, and Dick stepped after him, almost bowed over as he walked into something that felt like a solid wall of darkness. For a second his mind started screaming, babbling incoherent fears before he forced himself to take another step. Almost instantly, he felt the dark side recede and could breathe again. When he looked up, Slade was watching him with an amused look. “So tell me, Knight Grayson. Did you actually leave the Jedi Order?”

“I am here, am I not?” Dick asked, but his heart beat too fast and he wanted to scream. “You did not have to bring me here to ask me that.”

“Oh, but I did,” and Slade's fingers trailed along his chin, and tipped his head back. “I most certainly did. For you see, I don't care why you came to me. But you're mine now.” Dick stared back at him, feeling stubborn and panicky all at once.

“You said once you did not want to break me,” Dick said softly.

“Not you, necessarily,” Slade agreed. “Your allegiance to the Order however? Your interest in the light? I would very much like to break those things. And you see, I need you for a very specific task. Which means I need to be able to trust you.”

“I thought Sith did not trust,” Dick said. “Isn't that the point? Aren't you supposed to kill your masters?”

Slade smiled again. “Oh, to some extent. Not trust you in your entirety, no. But enough.”

He started walking backward suddenly, dragging Dick with him. Dick wanted to struggle, realizing this might be the last point when he could. “So why are we here?”

“As I said, the Jedi have their own trial chambers,” Slade said. “Places of specific Force power that can flay you to the soul of yourself and reveal whether you are ready to give yourself to a pathetic and powerless order.”

“The Jedi are not powerless,” Dick snapped, unable to stop himself. “We won against the Mandolorians. We've won against the Sith.”

“Technically it was not the Jedi who won against my people,” Slade said. “But renegades. Rebels. And you might recall their fate was to fall.”

“Revan came back,” Dick said.

“That's subjective,” Slade said and the whole time they were going deeper and deeper into the cave until Dick felt the change, the walls closing in and the entire world shifting slightly.

“Trial chambers are faced alone,” he said.

“Usually,” Slade agreed and then Dick was suddenly in total darkness. He fumbled out, but no one was there.

“Slade?” he called, and his voice echoed back at him. Everywhere he turned there was just more darkness, and only the echo of his own breathing. He was alone, completely cut off and when he pressed a hand against his own chest he could only feel the touch as if from a great distance, as if he was not pressing hard enough to cause a bruise.

“Don't fear,” he whispered. “Don't be afraid, this isn't real,” and he took another breath, dropped his hand and hoped he was fumbling forward in the right direction. His hands hit a wall and he gasped, forcing himself to follow it and just as suddenly as he was engulfed he was free, Slade staring at him and smiling.

“I take it this is only the beginning?” Dick asked.

“Once you enter a place like this, you can hardly turn back can you?” Slade asked.

“Is it not affecting you either?” Dick asked, “These places, it would not chose one of us to attack. Even if you had been here before.”

“Believe me,” Slade said, and leaned forward. “It will come after both of us. And if you do not convince me, here, when you are flayed open, to trust you, you will not leave this place.”

He walked away and Dick tipped his chin back, watching him. The Force felt like a low pulse against his mind and the bond with Slade was shoving at the back of his head, the shields he had built being worn down by proximity.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, not sure who he was apologizing too. And once again he followed Slade.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has played the KOTOR games you know where we are. If not I'll try to find some screencaps and a better explanation next chapter but I did something to fuck up my wrist so it hurts a lot and tomorrow is my last day at this job and then I move in like 3 days so. Life is crazy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for the curious this is a [walk through ](http://lparchive.org/Knights-of-the-Old-Republic-II/Update%2037/)of the cave from KOTOR 2 that I'm basically using flat out. It's a decent one. And gives you a little more context. 
> 
> This was written mostly to "M4 Part II" from the Mass Effect soundtrack because I just played through Mass Effect 2 in like four days and am currently incredibly emotional. But hey it means my need to write sci-fi went through the roof again and here we finally are again.

Tipping his head back, Dick could feel the weight of the carved stone pressing down on him. “Sith architects were quite pretentious, weren’t they?” he asked, the silence almost as oppressive as the stone. He thought he could see writing on one wall, but it skidded away from his gaze just as quickly.

Slade laughed, and Dick wondered if the hallway would ever end.

“That’s the point, Knight,” Slade said. “When power is what matters, your tomb, your legacy, needs to be as impressive as that power was. Otherwise, what’s the point of having one?”

“This is more than a tomb, now.”

“Yes,” Slade agreed. “So many centuries of dark side energy and now—”

They both broke off when they heard a scream, Dick tense. “That was a child,” he said, desperately trying to remember why he would be remembering the screams of a child.

“Yes, it was,” Slade said, stepping over the threshold of the door way into a vaulted chamber. Dick hesitated another moment before following, seeing for a moment simply the darkness and the mist and then a body laid out in the middle of the room.

“Slade?” he asked, hesitating, before he followed him across the room. “You said—once—you became a Sith because of your son—”

“Yes,” Slade agreed, dipping his head down and Dick followed his gaze to the body. It was a boy, somewhere in his later teenage years, lanky with the possibility of growing into something else.

“Slade, I’m,” Dick started and there was movement in the shadows, another form crawling across the floor and leaving blood behind. “What,” Dick started, and a boy with blond hair looked up at him, a hand trying to hold the blood in from his slit throat.

As Dick took a step back, Slade bent down, picking up the tiny child and cradling him against his chest, one hand covering his throat. “Sh, Joey,” Slade murmured. “It’s going to be okay, I’m here, and I’ll protect you now.”

The boy in his arms looked up at him. “You never have been,” he said, as if the blood on his throat meant nothing. “You’ve always failed us before.”

“Never saved any of your family,” the boy on the ground added, pushing himself up on his arms. Because his spine had been severed in his death so he could not stand. “You won’t be able to now.”

“Some things don’t change,” Joey, still in his arms said.

“You’re not dead,” Slade said and gently set the bleeding boy on the ground. “I didn’t save Grant, and I didn’t protect you, but you’re not dead and I haven’t failed all my family yet.” Without another look back, he strode across the room. “Dick!” he yelled, when Dick had remained frozen, staring at the two boys in front of him, bleeding in the darkness.

“Slade,” Dick said when he finally forced himself to move, away from the two figures.

“Hush,” Slade dismissed, still walking.

“No, that was,” Dick shook his head. “I didn’t realize—Why did you bring me here? You might have my worst fears revealed to you, but I’m seeing yours too.”

“This is not just about fear,” Slade said and turned. “It is about regret, about the choices you made and living with them. It’s asking you if you can do that. And I can. What I want to see,” and he ran his fingers along Dick’s jaw. “Is whether you can.”

“Those were your children,” Dick said.

“And I did what I could for them,” Slade said turning away. “Even if it was never enough.”

Dick ducked his chin down, breathing through his nose before he followed. “How long is this cave?”

“Long enough,” Slade said, and this doorway still had the ancient door that slid open as they approached.

There was silence and the same dark mist on the other side so with a sigh Dick walked through. The Sith tomb was still all around them, but Jedi were walking back and forth across the room, talking to each other and ignoring Slade and Dick.

“This should be interesting,” Slade remarked, Dick swallowing back his panic as he spotted Bruce across the room.

“This is just a vision,” he said to himself. “He’s not really here.”

“Your old master,” Slade said, cocking his head to one side as Bruce approached. “I never did figure out what he did to earn such loyalty.”

“I’m not loyal to him,” Dick snapped. “I have not been—we went years without speaking because he—” he stopped abruptly.

“And yet here he is, in this place,” Slade remarked. “He must mean a great deal to you.”

“It’s not—” Dick started to say.

“Knight Grayson,” the Bruce vision said, drawn up to his full height, his hands in his formal sleeves. “Except you never did deserve that title. What are you doing here?”

“I’m,” Dick opened his mouth and then froze. “What do you, I never deserved—”

“You were a horrible Jedi,” Kal-El said, walking past without stopping. Dick startled eyes snapping over before focusing on Bruce again.

“Always so needy,” Bruce said. “So desperate for _something_. That’s hardly the Jedi way, is it? You couldn’t even accept that I didn’t want you anymore. Oh you pretended well enough, running away from the Order to prowl around the edges of space. But we all knew you were just nursing your wounded pride.”

“If you were ever Jedi material that time has passed,” Diana said, appearing at Bruce’s shoulder.

“You’ve been tainted a long time,” Donna said, at her master’s side.

“Is it really any wonder I couldn’t stand you?” Bruce asked. “You were the greatest disappointment I have ever experienced.”

“This is just a vision,” Dick said, taking several steps back from where they all stared at him. “This isn’t real.”

“We barely accepted you as it was,” Diana said. “Do you think we would ever take you back after something like this?”

“No,” Dick whispered. “No I don’t suspect you will.”

“I told you, you always belonged to me,” Slade remarked beside him as suddenly the Jedi in the room all ignited their lightsabers.   

“No, this,” Dick stepped back, his back hitting the door that had slid open for them before.

“It’s a vision,” Slade said, lighting his own red blade. “But they will still kill you.”

Dick fumbled for his blades, almost dropping one of them before he forced himself to focus. When Bruce swung his blade at him, Dick was prepared, even though he felt like screaming the whole time they dueled, the other shades distracted by Slade throwing out force lightning at all of them.

“I should never have taken you,” Bruce said, and he wasn’t fighting like Bruce did, his blows too wide, using brute strength instead of Bruce’s actual subtlety and grace. “I should have let the order muster you out when no master would take you. You were wrong and we all knew it. I thought I could fix you is all.”

“This isn’t true,” Dick said, swinging around and kicking the vision in the face. “You’re not actually my master!”

“Oh child,” the Bruce vision said as Dick got one of his blades up and around, stabbing him through the heart. “You know what I’m saying is true,” and he disappeared into smoke.

Dick’s hands were shaking and there was silence around him. Slowly he stowed his blades back on his belt, jumping when Slade came up behind him.

“I told you from the start,” he murmured, nuzzling against Dick’s neck. “That you belonged with me. You know yourself, you aren’t a good Jedi.”

“I am a Jedi,” Dick whispered. “It’s all I’ve ever been.”

“And yet here you are,” Slade said. “Which only proves to yourself that that’s not true. Maybe it never was.”

Dick shivered, pressing back against the warmth of Slade, ignoring the feeling of rot and where they were for a second. “You’re right,” he whispered. “Maybe it never was.”

 

  


	4. Chapter 4

Dick watched Slade slice through a woman who had gone to her knees in front of him. “Why her?” Dick asked, folding his arms across his chest. “You’ve killed so many people, haven’t you?”

“Do you think I regret none of them?” Slade asked, half turning to him.

“No,” Dick said. “Which is why I’m curious why it’s her death you’re seeing now.”

“There was a time I loved her,” Slade said, walking away and Dick forced himself to follow.

“And then?”

“And then the obvious happened,” Slade said. “She betrayed me.”

“Is it obvious?” Dick asked. “Obvious because you killed her, or obvious because everyone will betray you?”

“Ah, child,” Slade said, and shook his head. They were in another hallway and Dick could still feel the heavy hand of the dark side pressing against him from all sides, almost hearing a whisper. “I know you ask the question about you.”

“You’ve been chasing me for years,” Dick said. “What’s the point of giving with if I know you will only expect the end?”

“Because it’s the journey,” Slade said, turning back around. “It’s knowing _freedom_ and the fact that it could be my end instead of yours. Everything ends, Knight,” and he stepped closer to Dick, who only followed him with his eyes. “You know how Sith hierarchy works, don’t you? The apprentice kills the master.”

“I am not here to be your _apprentice_ ,” Dick ground out, meeting Slade’s eyes.

“But I will still instruct you,” Slade said. “I will still show you the way to be free. Not a traditional relationship, no, but for a while you will be mine because there is no other way.” He brought both hands up, tipping Dick’s face back. “Fall for me, Knight, and I will show you the universe as it should be. Power and taking what you want, because that’s the only truth you will ever know, instead of this illusion of will. The Jedi are blind, thinking if they lock themselves up in their temple and meditate they will know the universe.”

“We follow the will of the Force,” Dick said.

Slade laughed. “Can you really believe that? Why would the Force care for us? Why would it want to help the universe? No, the Force is a tool, which we can use. And I will show you how.” He stroked one thumb along Dick’s cheek. “Let me show you how to be free.”

“And you think in repayment we should try and kill each other?” Dick asked.

“It will be inevitable,” Slade said, sounding amused and warm in this cold and dark place. “I put us on that path a long time ago. And now here we are. One day, we will of course fight and then we shall finally see who is the stronger of us. But until then,” and he leaned down, brushing his lips across Dick’s temple. “Until then we shall be together.”

Dick let his eyes close, focusing for one terrible moment just on Slade’s warm hands. “We need to get out of this place first.”

“Yes,” Slade agreed and when they entered the next room, Dick staggered back. The wind that blew the stench of death felt too real, like he was back on that planet, surrounded only by the dead—

“Ah, Tantes Five,” Slade said and frowned. “I do not regret this.”

“You almost destroyed an entire world!” Dick said, and realized he was shaking, looking around and there was no destruction, no craters, but bodies piled everywhere in the room. “They were not—there were children. Fathers and mothers and you—”

“This is your vision,” Slade seemed to realize, looking over. “That’s why you came.”

“I tried,” Dick said, and swallowed hard. “I tried to help as many as I could but there were more bodies than survivors.”

He flinched back when Slade reached for him again, his eye glowing in the dim light. “And so you came to me.”

“You’re changing,” Dick said, an accusation. “I can feel it, in my head,” and he brought his hands up, as if warding Slade away from his mind. “The darkness, the loss of the honor you have valued your whole life. You had a code, of some sort of another, since we met. And now, and now it’s gone, and you’re driving me as mad as you are becoming—”

“Yes,” Slade said and Dick winced. “You’re right.” He stepped forward. “And you want to save me.”

Dick’s eyes flashed up.

“Because you can, you know,” Slade said, and he took one of Dick’s hands, twining their fingers together and Dick’s eyes followed the motion. “That’s what you want to hear, isn’t it? That you can save me? I even think it’s true.”

“No you don’t,” Dick said, shaking his head.

“I know I’m slipping, Dick,” Slade said and Dick shivered, looking away. “I know I’ve lost something. So you’re right. Help me remember where the lines are, protect the collateral damage. You save me and I’ll free you.”

“This is not about freedom,” Dick said.

“Yes, it always has been,” Slade said. “I’m going to free you from those binds the Jedi wrapped around you from birth and show you the universe as it _should_ be and together,” he nuzzled against Dick’s cheek. “Together we can be anything.”

Dick’s gaze flickered over, Slade looking pleased. “Alright,” he whispered.

“Come,” Slade said, taking his hand and pulling him through the room stacked with bodies.

-0-

Dick was still shaking when Slade led him back outside, having barely spared a glance for the last room with its Sith tomb. Dick had almost stopped to look but decided it was safer just to keep going. Even the harsh wind on Korriban’s surface felt like a relief.

“Did I pass your test?” he asked, following Slade back to the ship.

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” Slade asked, and he turned around. Dick shielded his gaze as the wind kicked up some of the sand, blowing in his face.

“Yes,” Dick agreed.

“And so we can finally do great things together,” Slade said, and Dick looked up at him, the sun behind Slade and making it hard to focus.

“What’s your first plan?” Dick asked and Slade laughed. Squinting against the light of the low sun, Dick startled when Slade tipped his chin back.

“Don’t worry,” Slade said. “I won’t hurt you.”

“I don’t believe you,” Dick murmured and closed his eyes against the light, and the sting of the wind when Slade leaned down and kissed him, mouth hard and demanding, holding Dick in the graveyard of the old Sith.


	5. Chapter 5

Dick had settled into the chair, watching Slade punch in coordinates to the navcomputer, when he almost fell asleep. He drifted in and out, trying not to think about Bruce attacking him like he had always wanted to.

But he instantly roused himself when Slade rose and leaned over. “What is it?” Dick asked.

“These are for your,” Slade said, dropping blood red crystals in his hand and for a second Dick could only stare at them.

“These would fit—you took apart my lightsabers,” he said flatly, the realization making him feel sick. He had checked them before daring to use them again, after Slade had returned them, but he had never realized they had been totally taken apart and measured.

“Yes,” Slade agreed, smile dark and harsh. “They are of a beautiful design.”

“How long have you had these?” Dick asked, trying to avoid his eyes.

“I don’t have to tell you that for you to know,” Slade said.

“And what’s wrong with leaving my lightsabers orange?” Dick asked. “They were already pushing the boundaries of acceptable—”

“Exactly,” Slade said, still leaning over him too close and Dick realized his breath was coming in tiny gasps. “You can’t push the boundary, it’s time to break it.”

“Haven’t I done enough for you yet?” Dick asked and Slade smiled, sliding his hands around to cup Dick’s head and Dick closed his eyes.

“I have no doubts in your dedication,” Slade said. “Not now. This is for you as much as it is my control.”

“To free me,” Dick said, eyes still closed and not a question.

“Yes,” Slade agreed, drawing him up with his hands on his head, and Dick went, not opening his eyes as Slade kissed him. “You’ve missed this,” Slade said, not a question. “Tell me, did you even dare touch yourself in all the time you’ve been gone?” Dick whimpered, shook his head. “Even when I found the boys that looked like you?”

“ _Especially_ then,” Dick said. “I couldn’t help what happened when it was dreams you gave me.”

Slade’s fingers carded through his hair and Dick tried to swallow down the desperation in his throat. “Always trying so hard,” he murmured. “Let go.”

“To you,” Dick said, not a question.

“Do you not trust me to take care of you?” Slade breathed against his temple and Dick shivered, arching his body closer to Slade.

“I can try,” he said and Slade covered his mouth again, hot and heavy and Dick slid his hands up Slade’s wide back, clinging to his shoulders. “Ngh, please.”

“It doesn’t take long for you to need,” Slade laughed.

“It has been a long time,” Dick replied. He tried not to think of Jason, warm and angry and sweet against him, offering him everything he could not take. For a second he had seen a path away from the Jedi and away from Slade.

But he had known one or the other would have caught up with them so he had not taken it and now—

“Drop your shields on the bond,” Slade murmured, hands on Dick’s waist and their bodies pressed together. Dick startled and shook his head.

“No, no, not yet. I—” he broke off with a groan as Slade pushed him back, and he hit the wall of the cockpit. He hoped whatever lever digging into his back wasn’t important, or the buttons he hit when his hand scrambled across the wall as Slade picked up his legs under his thighs, so he had to wrap them around Slade’s waist or fall.

His other hand tangled in Slade’s white hair and he could feel the wrong inside Slade like it was pressing against him, the corruption and taint of the Force and he should have been able to push away.

“Please,” he said instead, a breath against Slade’s mouth. “Please—”

“Tell me what you want, boy,” Slade said, fingers digging into his hips.

“I want to feel you,” Dick said. “I want you to touch me.”

“I am touching you,” Slade said, sounding amused, but he pushed Dick’s tabbards off anyway, unwinding his outer robes. As the layers fell away, the lever against his spine became more of a problem, and when his chest was bare he could feel the scrape of the buttons behind him.

“Is this a good idea?” he asked, and Slade hummed, biting his neck and stroking his cock through his pants. Dick slammed his head back, a beep greeting that action.

“You were begging me a second ago,” Slade said, amused again.

“No,” Dick gestured over his head, and his shoulders were going to have scrapes and cuts from being pressed against so many metal protrusions.  

“Ah,” Slade said, eyes traveling up the wall he had Dick against. “Everything is currently on automotive. As long as you don’t space us by accident we should be fine.”

“Slade,” Dick said, half in panic. “What do you mean, where is—” and he cut off with a gasp, Slade pulling his pants down and sliding his hands across exposed skin. Dick curled against his shoulders, panting.

“Always so sensitive,” Slade murmured.

Dick nodded in agreement, his head resting on Slade’s shoulder. He could barely remember a second ago he was worried, or why exactly he should never have allowed this.

“Don’t worry,” Slade said, and when his hand came back his fingers were slick and Dick briefly wondered where he had even kept that. “I’ll take care of you.”

“I know,” Dick said and felt pathetic for saying it. But somehow that was never in doubt in his mind, even when he had been doing his best to avoid the Sith, dancing around the Outer Rim and hoping and dreading running into him in equal measures. Even when he woke up from screaming nightmares that weren’t his because Slade had forced a bond into his mind that he had never asked for or wanted.

In whatever twisted way Slade believed, he was always taking care of Dick.

Dick started shaking, still clinging to Slade and suddenly realizing how far away from home he was and everyone he had ever known. He missed Bruce like it was a blow, wondered what Donna or Roy or Garth were doing, if Donna had found a padawan for herself yet.

Wondered how Tim would take the news when they heard of him, as they must inevitably. Thought about the downturn of Kal-El’s mouth, the way Bruce wouldn’t react at all where anyone could see, and the way his shields would slam up so no one could get a hint of how he actually felt.

Dick had encountered that when they thought Jason died. When Bruce had cut him off again after their tentative truce of the years prior.

He wished he wasn’t hurting anyone as he whispered out a curse, Slade’s fingers inside his body and stretching him.

He wished he wasn’t here at all, bruised and emotionally battered from Korriban and now pressing an open mouthed kiss to Slade’s shoulder, his fingers digging bruises into his back.

“You’re mine,” Slade said, pulling his fingers out.

Dick looked up, eyes blazing and met Slade’s expression for the first time since he had been slammed against the wall. “Only if you acknowledge you’re as much mine.”

For a second Slade stared at him in surprise, both his hands holding Dick up and he had been preparing to enter him. Dick could feel the head of his cock, heavy and hot against his skin and he wanted to twitch his hips forward, to get closer. But instead he held Slade’s shocked expression.

Slowly, Slade grinned. “Clever boy,” he said and slowly thrust forward, Dick forgetting to breath. Somehow he kept holding Slade’s gaze, even as one hand scrambled up over his head, trying to find some purchase as he tilted his hips closer, feeling the pleasure push through him like a wave. He couldn’t get his eyes to focus for a moment, but he didn’t allow them to close or move.

“You haven’t said,” Dick said, when he could.

Slade laughed and Dick’s spine arched away from the wall again, feeling the vibration against his chest.

Adjusting his hands and pressing Dick’s legs up higher, Slade thrust back up into him and Dick didn’t even try to stay quiet, yelping. His hand still on Slade’s shoulders reached up, tangling in his hair and accidentally brushing the eyepatch strap.

“I always underestimate you,” Slade said as Dick struggled to not drop his gaze. “But you’re right. You are _mine_ ,” and Dick lost the battle, closing his eyes and throwing his head back when Slade added, “But by the same standard, I belong to you.”

Slade bit his exposed throat and Dick felt like his was going to shake apart.

 He arched his spine away from the lever behind him, and urged Slade’s face back up, pressing a desperate and open mouthed kiss there, crying out again when Slade increased his pace, slamming in and out of him. Their mouths were still close enough he could feel Slade’s smile when Slade’s thrusts moved Dick back and forth.

“We belong to each other,” Slade said and Dick gave up to loosing his mind.

-0-

Slade had dumped Dick in a bunk, leaving him exhausted and sore to sleep for the rest of whatever their journey would be.

When Dick woke up, he rolled over to find his own clothing gone, duplicates in dark colors beside him. They were a little tight when he put them on, like Slade had not entirely accounted for his muscle accumulation after Slade had let him go the last time.

But Dick didn’t question it because he wanted to be dressed too badly. Wandering back to the cockpit he paused for a moment to look at Slade against the decrepit station they were approaching. “How many of these do you have?”

Slade laughed. “So many civilizations have left behind relics of their power and decadence. And now so many are forgotten.”

“You like the poetry of it,” Dick said.

“Somewhat,” Slade said, rising and Dick’s eyes flickered away from the station to the lines of Slade’s face. “Did you sleep well?” Slade asked, stroking his fingers down Dick’s cheeks.

“Yes,” Dick said and Slade’s hand continued its path down the line of his throat, ending at his collarbone. Dick met his eye and did not whimper, as he felt the ship lurch and attach to the station.

“Come,” Slade said, hand going across to his shoulder and pulling slightly before Slade walked away. “There is someone you should meet.”

“What?” Dick asked, following. “Who?” he asked, trying to swallow back what felt like panic. Slade, Slade he understood. But if it was another Sith, if it was Slade’s master—

But when they walked down the ship’s gangplank, there was a girl waiting for them, her hair as white as Slade’s even though it was obvious she was still just a child. Dick stopped completely, only halfway down and stared.

She in turn glared back at him and if he felt rot coming from Slade, she reminded him of Jason, sheer rage hitting his shields and battering against them.

“Father,” she snapped. “You did not tell me where you were going. You’ve been gone for two days.”

“And I’m sure you found something to occupy your time,” Slade said, and turned back to Dick who had twitched at the word _father_ and had still not moved. “Dick, meet my daughter, Rose.”

“Your,” Dick managed and another dose of rage hit his shields.

Slade seemed amused by her anger and Dick’s confusion. “I’m sure she’ll benefit under your teachings.”

“My?” Dick choked out. But Slade kept smiling at him, and she kept glaring at him and he wished he could sit down. Instead he swallowed, and finally nodded. He walked down the rest of the gangplank, letting Slade wrap a heavy arm around his waist and pull him closer to Rose and whatever future he had gotten himself in to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please save Dick from himself and everyone else around him. 
> 
> Meanwhile, [Vengeance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhv_yFMuwxs) by Zach Hemsey is the most Slade song I've ever found.


End file.
